Pre Marriage Counseling Online Dating Secret Friends Guide
Pre Marriage Counseling Helps To Maintain Healthy Relationship Structures
By Janine Jensenoris
The counselors for pre marriage counseling are often
Christian doctors who take a strong focus on creating
and maintaining healthy family structures. This is only
possible through communication and understanding. How
can you possibly know how your partner handles stress,
when nothing has come up to really test him or her?
How do you know whether you’ll want kids or will want
to retire early? Is your partner harboring any emotional
damage from previous relationships? By identifying strengths
and weaknesses, couples will have a better chance of
staying together and preventing a costly and often messy
divorce.
Counseling For Couples
The question of when to seek marriage counseling before
the big day may be dicey. It’s sort of like a prenuptial,
which some people may find offensive or as admonishing
the fact that "Hey things may not work out as planned!"
As the practice of counseling for couples becomes more
widespread, this becomes less an issue, though.
To help guide you, the California Association for Marriage
Family Therapists came up with several criteria to review
your options. If you’re young and have never married,
then go! If one partner is "commitment-o-phobic,"
then go! If there are unresolved issues regarding money,
parenting, household responsibilities, work or sex,
then go!
If one or more partners have had a previously failed
marriage, go! If you feel you’d like added conflict
resolution skills, go! Lastly, if there has been a history
of childhood or domestic abuse, go! Sometimes these
seemingly minor obstacles can become full-blown catastrophes
later, so it’s important that they’re addressed early
and professionally.
Money Troubles In A Marriage
Research shows that money is the #1 thing new couples
argue over, which can be addressed through pre marriage
counseling. Marriage therapists say the major underlying
source of financial conflict is lack of communication.
Prior to getting married, you should identify your spending
habits.
Are you a "big spender" or a "big saver?"
Sometimes, there is a communication breakdown as each
side tries to win the power struggle. Additionally,
there could be "The Done Deal" type who makes
financial decisions like opening new credit cards or
investing in a rental property without telling his/her
spouse until it’s too late.
Some people are also vulnerable to "keeping up
with the Joneses," buying out-of-budget cars, boats
and gadgets, which drives more practical spouses up
the wall. Holidays are another time when communication
about spending tends to breakdown. Lastly, forgetting
to tell a spouse about past debts can escalate into
arguments galore.
False Conceptions In A Marriage
Often, we come into a new marriage with many false
conceptions, which is one of the reasons why pre marriage
counseling is so important. One of the most common marriage
myths is that love and luck are the keys to a lasting
marriage, when in reality commitment and companionship
are far more significant.
Also, couples feel if they live together and give it
a "test drive," they’ll be more likely to
get married, which is false. Having children will not
always bring a couple closer together or patch up existing
problems, either. In fact, parenthood comes with a whole
new set of issues.
It is also untrue that married people have less than
thrilling sex lives and that married people are guaranteed
to be happier than marriages from 20-30 years ago. Balancing
expectations is just one area of Christian marriage
counseling.
About the Author:
Janine Jensenoris is an author of articles on relationships, social skills, dating and flirting including
Lonely People,
Adult Personals,
First Date Conversation Starters,
Social Skills Lessons,
Difficult People,
Anger Management,
Flirting Tips For Men,
Real Friends,
Adult Party Favors,
Conversation Starters.
Keep a lookout for more articles coming soon.
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