Domestic Violence Online Dating Secret Friends Guide
Domestic Violence Should Not Be Tolerated
By Janine Jensenoris
Disengaging from domestic violence seems easier said
than done, particularly when children are involved.
Firstly, no one wants to admit there is a problem. Secondly,
a woman may fear losing her home or leaving her property
behind. There is also a commonly held misperception
that the abuser is somehow omnipresent and will catch
the woman trying to flee.
Thirdly, many women feel that the fighting is normal
or that it is just a phase that will blow over. Most
abusers belittle their victims so much that they feel
they can never find another mate. All these problems
confront the abused, but one can still escape before
it’s too late.
Johnson and Ferraro (2000) classified domestic violence
into five different types. The first type is called
"Common Couple Violence," where there are
one or two incidents of extreme violence that doesn’t
follow a pattern of attempted control. These abusers
(which are 56% male and 44% female) are usually non-violent
outside the house and are least likely to be sexually
or emotionally violent.
A Pattern Of Control And Manipulation
The second type is called "Intimate Terrorism,"
which is a pattern of control and manipulation that
involves emotional abuse. These assailants are more
likely to kill their partners and plot revenge following
the breakup of a relationship.
The third type of domestic violence is "Violent
Resistance," where one partner acts controlling
and intimidating, while the other partner reacts in
violent self-defense.
Mutual Violent Control
This kind of violence may be a one-time event or a
pattern. "Mutual Violent Control" or mutual
combat involves two people using violence to control
one another.
The last domestic violence type is called "Dysphoric-Borderline
Violence," which describes a needy, dependent and
emotionally imbalanced person who turns to "pitbull"
type violence out of frustration, depression, fear of
abandonment and neediness.
Emotional, Physical, Sexual Or Financial
Victimization
Other researchers and counselors describe domestic
violence as simply being emotional, physical, sexual
or financial victimization. Emotional abuse entails
name-calling, shouting, threatening, insulting your
family and friends, taking your car keys, refusing to
work or share money, telling you to leave, abusing pets,
lying to manipulate or humiliating you in public.
Physical violence is more obvious, with hitting, slapping,
biting, choking, hair pulling, striking, pinning you
down, throwing things, driving recklessly, refusing
you medication, locking you out of the house, threatening
you with a weapon or doing anything that would endanger
your life.
Many Types Of Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse entails criticizing you sexually, mitigating
your personal feelings about sex, insisting on unwanted
uncomfortable sex or touching, forced sex after physical
violence or during sickness, insisting that you dress
sexually, withholding sex or affection "as punishment,"
or committing outright rape.
Once domestic violence has occurred, you must immediately
begin planning how to get out. While you prepare to
leave, take photo documentation of injuries sustained
during a violent episode, take pictures of damaged property
if applicable and review and write down everything that
happened. Tell someone, what is happening to you.
Have Important Documents Ready To Go
If you are injured, then go in for care. Be sure your
children are safe at a friend’s house or at least
locked in their room. Hopefully, you have saved some
emergency money, saved a spare set of keys and have
kept your financial documents, medication, identification
and important documents together, ready to go.
While it may seem difficult to imagine leaving, there
is no way to live happily and healthily in an abusive
situation.
About the Author:
Janine Jensenoris is an author of articles on relationships, social skills, dating and flirting including
Lonely People,
Adult Personals,
First Date Conversation Starters,
Social Skills Lessons,
Difficult People,
Anger Management,
Flirting Tips For Men,
Real Friends,
Adult Party Favors,
Conversation Starters.
Keep a lookout for more articles coming soon.
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