Dating Violence Online Dating Secret Friends Guide
Dating Violence And Knowing The Signs
By Janine Jensenoris
Dating violence has become so widespread these days
that it is almost viewed as "normal." In the
United States, a woman is more likely to be assaulted,
battered, raped or killed by a male partner than by
a stranger.
It’s estimated that 7% of all murder victims were young
women under age 24 killed by their boyfriends. Six out
of ten rapes occur in their own home by a partner, not
a dark alley. A whopping 40% of teenage girls, between
the ages of 14 and 17, said they knew someone their
age who had been beaten by a boyfriend.
Once you’ve "been through so much," where
do you draw the line on dating violence and say "enough
is enough?" Over time, as patterns emerge, it’s
natural for one to lose sight of reality. It seems like
"everyone fights" or is involved in some drama,
yet that doesn’t make it ok.
You Are Not A Punching Bag
You do not ever have to be someone’s physical or emotional
punching bag. There are so many other possible partners
out there, don’t think you have to settle, especially
so young. If your partner shoves, slaps, hits or punches
you, then get out!
If you fear bringing up certain topics, feel you’re
walking on egg shells or that you’re a prisoner
in your own home and suspect he’s listening in
on your phone calls, then escape while you still can!
If he’s accusing you of cheating, giving you
"the look," calling you disparaging names
or shouting at you, then remember that you don’t
have to put up with his abuse and it is time to review
your options.
Inexperienced In The Dating World
Teen dating violence is often hidden for many reasons.
As a teen, you’re relatively inexperienced in
the dating world and you haven’t fully figured
out what is normal behavior and what is excessive mental
illness or severe behavioral problems yet.
You may feel like all of your peers are "acting
violently," that violence is "masculine,"
or view your relationship as defiance against your parents.
Many teenage boys mistakenly believe they "possess"
their girlfriends, have the right to "control"
their partners, have the right to demand intimacy, that
their girlfriends "force" them to resort to
violence, and that they may lose respect if they are
attentive and supportive to their girlfriends.
Abuse Is Not Normal
Many teenage girls mistakenly feel there is only one
person for them, that they are solely responsible for
problem solving, that their boyfriend’s jealousy
is really just love, that there is no one to ask for
help and that abuse is "normal."
The reality is that teens can identify warning signs,
exercise their tremendous number of options and live
a healthy, happy life as a valuable individual who deserves
respect.
Many teens recognize that their boyfriends have "anger
problems," but they refrain from seeking help because
they want to deal with it "on their own."
Perhaps, it’s naivety or they fail to realize that dating
violence is more than an inconvenience. It is extremely
dangerous and it is often deadly.
Injury Requiring Medical Care
More than one third of all partner-committed rapes
and physical assaults result in injury requiring medical
care (NVAW Survey, July 2000). According to the CDC,
there are 2 million injuries and 1,300 deaths caused
by intimate partner violence.
Additionally, medical expenses from domestic abuse
totaled $3-5 billion (Domestic Violence for Health Care
Providers, 3rd Edition, Colorado Domestic Violence Coalition,
1991). To stop the cycle of violence, teens must report
incidents and seek treatment.
About the Author:
Janine Jensenoris is an author of articles on relationships, social skills, dating and flirting including
Lonely People,
Adult Personals,
First Date Conversation Starters,
Social Skills Lessons,
Difficult People,
Anger Management,
Flirting Tips For Men,
Real Friends,
Adult Party Favors,
Conversation Starters.
Keep a lookout for more articles coming soon.
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