Dating Relationships Online Secret
Friends Guide
Dating Relationships Built To Last Forever
By Janine Jensenoris
Social relationships are important to human development.
With friendships, an individual finds a voice. A person
learns his or her boundaries, communication style, wants
and needs from interacting with others. We use social
interactions as gauges that tell us how "normal"
we are, comparatively.
We add up pros and cons of our lovers and weigh other
options to determine how long our dating relationships
should last. It can be difficult to determine what healthy
relationships are these days, since so many surrounding
relationships seem to carry their own dysfunctions;
yet an understanding of this matter can prevent irreversible
damage to our self-esteem and psyches.
Positive interpersonal relationships don’t always come
naturally. Sometimes emotions get in the way of healthy
dating relationships and anger clouds a person’s judgment.
Communication theorists recommend a tactic called "going
out to the balcony" to deal with intense emotions.
Relaxing And Clearing Your Mind
When a person literally walks onto a balcony, he or
she will look down at the ground below, where the people
and objects look so small. A breath of fresh air clears
the mind and that moment of solitude produces a feeling
of relaxation.
Similarly, if a person excuses him or herself to take
a quick walk around the block, step outside for a breath
of air or to go into the other room for a moment to
calm down, the problems will suddenly appear insignificant
and the overall picture can be more clearly observed.
Dissipating Angry And Impulsive Thoughts
Breathing techniques similar to those used in meditation
or yoga can come in handy to slow down the heartbeat.
"Going out to the balcony," whether literally
or metaphorically, allows angry, impulsive thoughts
to dissipate and is a very helpful technique. Following
this, one must return to the other partner and participate
in positive communication to get to the root of the
problem.
Marriage counseling therapists use tools that are also
effective for dating relationships, such as a nine-step
process called "Emotional Freedom Techniques."
When a couple arrives, the first step is to lay out
the problems.
Uncovering Real Relationship Issues
Most couples will fight over laundry or paying the
bills, which are surface-level issues that may happen
repetitively, but it’s the goal of the therapist to
uncover the real relationship issues troubling them.
The next step, then, is to realize the destructive cycle
and the underlying needs/wants that fuel this negative
pattern.
The third step is to understand what’s fueling one’s
emotions. In the fourth step, partners become less combative
and realize that no one is to blame, but rather, the
cycle is the common enemy they must defeat. Partners
become more honest and admit their deepest fears and
desires in the fifth step.
Brainstorming And Problem Solving
In the sixth step, the partners should acknowledge
each other’s feelings. In the seventh step, couples
become closer because of the newfound realizations and
the eighth step involves brainstorming and problem solving.
Lastly, the partners vow to stay on-track and prevent
relapses.
There are many ways to save dating relationships that
are not working properly. First, it’s important to accept
someone as he or she is. Trying to change or mold a
person is unfair and almost always causes deep-seated
unhappiness. Secondly, a partner must realize it’s impossible
to "always be right."
Helping To Build Trust By Keeping Out Lies
Sometimes, even if a person knows he or she is right,
it’s still important to compromise for the greater good.
One must ask, "Is it more important that I’m right
or that I’m happy?" Thirdly, there must be no lies
in healthy relationships. Of course, "no lying"
doesn’t always mean brutal honesty, as tact is just
as essential to the mix and feelings must also be considered.
Fourth of all, sometimes we need to learn to just let
it go. For instance, if a person has cheated in the
past, the other partner needs to end the relationship
or decide to get over it and never bring it up again.
Lastly, couples must have time together but must also
have lives apart from one another. It’s not healthy
to spend every waking moment together, losing friends
and passions along the way.
About the Author: Janine
Jensenoris is a popular author of dating articles including
Adult
Personals, Blind
Dating, Chat
Websites, Real
Friends, Adult
Party Favors, Conversation
Starters, Abusive
Relationships, Difficult
People, Anger
Management, Interracial
Relationships.
Keep a lookout for more articles coming soon.
More Relationship Facts....
Have you ever just looked at your husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend
and just wondered what was happening in your relationship?
If so then you are not alone. Many people overlook the
need for relationship tuneups because they do not want
to admit that things may be becoming stagnant or that
there is a problem.
Relationships take a lot of work and effort. So if
you can find the right guidelines, you can start working
to improve your relationship. It may be just knowing
the right questions to ask or scheduling a special date
night.
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