Couples Counselor Online Dating Secret
Friends Guide
Couples Counselor Helps To Find Solutions
By Janine Jensenoris
"For a lot of couples, life gets up and running
and we stop paying attention to the health or our marriage,"
explains Dr. James Cordova, Ph.D. "Often, our marriages
don’t catch our attention until they start to hurt."
Cordova is an associate professor of psychology at
Clark University in Massachusetts, where he is heading
a study on the effectiveness of an annual couples counselor.
So far, he says the results are promising for "a
marriage checkup," which can offer prevention and
treatment for a number of marital snafus.
Couples Counselor Study
Most of the people in Cordova’s couples counselor study
were around 47 years old for husbands and 44 years old
for wives, married for an average of fifteen years,
although there are some newlyweds and some seniors also
involved. Typically, they’ll videotape a couple discussing
a problem and the counselors will review it later. "We
watch them talk about a problem in their relationship
together," Cordova explains.
Two weeks later, he can point out strengths and weaknesses
in the tape, then presenting a "menu of options"
for dealing with the situations. Sometimes couples may
need to see licensed professional counselors, read books
or simply spend more time together. Six months later,
the couple will respond via a questionnaire to report
their progress.
Increased Marital Satisfaction
The initial results of these annual counseling sessions
for couples have been promising, Cordova reports. In
the first 68 couples, most reported increased marital
satisfaction, improvements in intimacy and a higher
level of cooperation and acceptance in their households.
"People that have been through the marriage checkup
are improving in all kinds of ways in comparison to
couples who haven’t." He admits that some couples
will undoubtedly relapse, as anyone would in medical
or emotional therapy, yet those with access to treatment
always fare better.
Feared Unanticipated Hurdles
David and Kay Bayer are two study participants who
saw a couples counselor together. Though they’ve been
married for 23 years, they said they wanted to participate
because they feared unanticipated hurdles. "We
had two really close friends get divorced and it sort
of hit us when they got divorced: ’What happened to
them?’
So, we’re trying to improve on what we saw go wrong,"
Kay Bayer said. Through the study, they learned to communicate
more effectively, they said. "You don’t realize
the little things that may affect your marriage,"
Kay Bayer said. "[I was] learning to speak more
clearly to him so he could understand where I was coming
from. I tend not to think before I speak on some issues."
About the Author:
Janine Jensenoris is a popular author of dating articles
including Adult
Personals, Blind
Dating, Chat
Websites, Real
Friends, Adult
Party Favors, Conversation
Starters, Abusive
Relationships, Difficult
People, Anger
Management, Social
Skills Lessons.
Keep a lookout for more articles coming soon.
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